Share this:

In our modern societies, women’s emancipation seems to be widely accepted. More and more women have high education. Most statistics show girls have actually better academics results than boys.

Women were denied, and still are denied in some countries, the right to drive a car. Again, statistics show they drive better than men. This is how, some insurance companies have offered lower rates for women.

This is very sexist, you think, and yes, you are right. Not all women are same. They are good and bad driver in each sex, good and bad students in each sex. Good and bad men and women.

What the general consensus is today, is that they both should have equal rights.

Statistics, once again, show that in our western societies, the rate of divorce has seriously increased. We used to say one in two couple will split within 10 years of marriage, today, 10 years, are long life for couples.

As we know that divorce has become more than just a sad fatality, what have we done to make it less painful ?

In a divorce, both couple suffer. It is a failure when things broke apart.

Outside the couple, there should be one major consideration in a divorce, protecting the children. Am I saying that because I am a mother? It could be. It is hard for me to see what is inside the brain of some fathers. Not all have grown up with the ‘education’ of living a family life with all due responsibilities as well as the joy of building a family and maintaining family relations.

What compensation our society has to offer to the parent that has devoted her/his time and life and carrier to look after the children?

In these days when we are all watching, looking and maybe participating to the riots in many western countries against the power of the financial market and Wall Street, I want to bring the attention to the more intimate aspect of the economic crises.

With the economy growing down, with the stress growing up, more couples are falling apart.

The rise of job loss could draw a curve parallel to the curve of divorce statistics.

How we, as a society, as individuals, as mothers and fathers, as law maker, are we facing the issue of separation ?

I wanted to share with you an article that was published in the Guardian ‘The Mythe of the kept women‘ by Emine Saner in September 2009.

This article describes clearly the way the European Convention, Bussels II, enacted to simplify divorce procedure within the EU has been used by large law firms, specialized on International Family Law, to generate big revenues and legal complications.

Clearly in the article, it is exposed how the spirit of the European convention is distorted to give maximum chance to the wealthiest spouse to rush against time to file divorce in a country giving the least protection to the non working, and therefore weakest spouse.

This article mentions :

“Under European regulations, you are able to lodge a divorce petition in one of the member states if you are a national of that country, domiciled there, or have been resident for six months.”

It is actually even more than that. You can lodge a divorce petition in a country where you don’t even live neither yourself, your kids, nor your spouse, simply based on your nationality. And this nationality can be the one you get from your spouse by marriage!!

Practically, what that means?

It means, these wealthy spouses, are rushed to adopt their most favorable jurisdiction to file in, leaving behind family and children. The most ‘inhuman’ ones, would take care of emptying all joint bank accounts in order to  prevent the partner to even be in a position to hire a lawyer. No lawyer, no representation, a very difficult situation where often the mother, as it is the sad reality, would be stuck with her children and not able to have a fair trial.

Thanks god, not every man goes down that way. Many have the decency to understand the end of marital relationships doesn’t mean the end of humanity and loyalty. It is important to understand why laws have been enacted and why the wife who has given up carrier to follow her husband has rights to maintain a certain level of life. Of course, she lives with the children, These kids are innocent in this separation. They do get harmed inevitably. What they need most of all is finding a certain stability. They can’t cope with a divorce if combined with moving house, school, etc…

Don’t think the life of the divorced wife is all marvelous because she receives aliments from her ex-husband. Remember how it is for anyone to get a job, now imagine you are a single parent, with a fatal whole on your CV and you want to get back to the job market.

Imagine you will be in the middle of a legal battle in another country. imagine your kids have one or two weeks school holidays every six weeks. Remember they finish school sometimes as early as 3pm in the afternoon. How are your expected to work with that? Nothing is impossible.

Some European countries have better dealt with helping mothers to keep a professional activity, like France. Some other are culturally much more resiliant. Germen for instance have a very low esteem of working mothers they call ‘Rubenmutter’. In England, the school system often expect the mothers to be at home. It’s a very competitive system. school days are shorter. Of course it all depends on which part of the country. Somehow, following that logic, courts will be more or less generous with the non working spouse with children according to her chances to find a job.

When partners are encouraged to do ‘forum shopping’, this balance is completely destroyed. This is where you come to the situation of a high profile banker, living his wife and family in the UK, filing in France, a forum with no attach, for the single reason of paying amenities in Euros, under the French standard of life, to a wife in UK, left with empty bank accounts, no mean to even afford the trip to the court with young kids to France.

This is an Abuse of the European Institutions.

And no, this is not a hypothetical case.

Advertisement