When a Family Lawyer Divroce

The Divorce of a family lawyer has its Collateral Victims

They were both lawyers. Raymond, somewhat of a generalist lawyer, with a slight focus on property law and intellectual property, and Brigitte, exclusively dedicated to family law. She worked independently within the firm, with her own secretary. Raymond employed around 5-6 associates and 3-4 secretaries, including a dedicated principal assistant and an associate who had been by his side for decades. It was a medium-sized structure.

The young woman had joined the firm part-time while pursuing her law studies. Working part time, she would arrive in the afternoon, in a more relaxed atmosphere. They use to work hard and often ended the day in a relax laughter. There was a special bound between the boss, Raymond, the principal assistant F., the associate A., and this young law student aiming for a career as a lawyer. Sometimes, a certain chemistry develops in human relationships, and that was the case between her and the boss, Raymond. Often, when returning from court or external meetings, he would head straight to her office to tell her his stories of the day. The laughter didn’t prevent serious work. Raymond knew he could rely on her. He allowed her more freedom than the others. She would arrive at flexible hours, depending on the urgencies of the day. She would stay late into the evening as needed. When emergency came, she would be the one to answer first, like that time she delayed her X’mas trip to take over an emergency others refused. There were early-morning associates like Arlette, who left early. Then there was Pascal, more ambitious, hoping to become a partner because unlike Anne, a lifelong associate, he had a network of potential clients to bring to the firm.

This little world thrived around Raymond. Other associates came and went. The atmosphere was generally good. Brigitte, his wife, balanced her work time with her family. She had a son from a previous marriage and a younger daughter with Raymond.

The young woman, who had a privileged professional relationship with the boss, shared mutual friends with Brigitte. They both belonged to a common association. Also, Brigitte was of Israeli descent, and the young woman had a Jewish lawyer boyfriend. So, Brigitte enjoyed telling her funny stories about Jewish mothers, which created a certain complicity between them.

Then came the bar exam, which the young student prepared for while she was working and supporting her parents. She passed the written and small oral exams, but a friend who insisted on driving her made her arrive late for the final big oral exam. It was a big failure. She had always to balance studies with professional activity. She was financially independent, living alone in Paris from a very young age. At 16-17, she was solely responsible for her own education. But that’s another point.

It was in the 90s, that was rules the merging of legal professions. Three years of legal work allowed to enter to the Bar, which was the path she chose.

Everything was going rather well until Brigitte suspected Raymond of infidelity. She kicked him out, and he moved into a hotel. Brigitte, a family law specialist, had always emphasized the importance of amicable separation so she took herself the ‘amicable’ step of hiring three private detectives to follow him, to build a solid case of adultery. She initially acted amicable. Her father and brother were also lawyer. They held a family council meeting during which she revealed the results of the investigations, putting pressure on him to reach a financial settlement in her favor.

Certainly, she had her own clientele and reasonable incomes, but she and the children were used to a certain lifestyle, which she had contributed to building, She could see no reason why they should suffer the consequences of ‘Momo’s’ infidelity. This is how she called him.

Yes, material concerns surface once a separation comes onto the table. Living together has its advantages. She had two adolescent children. He had legally adopted her eldest son. She had left the father immediately after giving birth in the hospital. That’s all we know about her story. She never talked about it. This was her third divorce. She mastered the process perfectly. Her strategy: to remain calm, appear conciliatory, gain trust, prevent him from preparing attacks, gather evidence in the meantime, and then pressure him to get the maximum financial grounts. She let him believe they could continue to share office space. Quite amusingly, she kept accumulating office supplies; the reserves kept dwindling.

Playing her somewhat relationship with the young woman, now a full-time legal counsel, she asked her to search into Raymond’s papers to find the adoption file of her son, which contained evidence of the adoptive father’s qualities. Of course, she refused and became her sworn enemy from then on. She then slander her to other members of the firm, even spreading rumours of alleged relationships she supposedly had with Raymond.

Tensions escalated. It became evident that the two lawyers couldn’t work in the same offices. Raymond called his team for a meeting to announce the split, naming the young woman his right-hand, in charge of the relocation formalities and finding new office space.

Proud of her new functions, more devoted than ever, she embarked on the task for long hours, in contact with real estate agencies for rentals, visiting offices, until she found a very nice location. She then selected an architect between her contacts for office decoration and layout works, selected new office furnitures, and all organisation for the new firm. She put all her energy into it, trying to reconcile everyones desire. Certainly, she finally had a beautiful office decorated to her liking. All of this, combined with the slander spread by Brigitte, aroused jealousy. Especially from the principal assistant, who felt overshadowed by the emergence of a right-hand she perceived as a rival.

In fine, the divorce of the family law specialist was no less painful than other divorces. It left several collateral victims. The attacking strategy scored points. Raymond was bared from seeing his daughter for a while. He had to pay the price for the reunion.

The atmosphere at the office was too tense. The young woman didn’t have the courage to face it. She resigned and left the firm at a time when the market for associates was not very prosperous.

Raymond, who so often on Friday evenings had uncorked champagne for his team to celebrate winning cases, had never revealed his past as an alcoholic. Only the principal assistant and the oldest associate were aware of this period when he had attended the Alcoholics Anonymous. They had kept it a secret. This was his second divorce, after which he started drinking again. His firm had its ups and downs and eventually went downhill. He died of a heart attack, caused by excessive alcohol consumption and taking anti-anxiety medication. Anne left the firm for a new collaboration elsewhere. Pascal left the profession. No news from the other associates.

Brigitte remarried for the fourth time, this time with a judge of the same religion to move to Israel. She might have seemed petty, at the very least materialistic, but she played well her game, avoiding damage and ensuring the best situation for her children.

Many wives and mothers see their situation deteriorate significantly after a separation. Brigitte had devoted more time to their family life by working less and accepting lower incomes. Instead of relying on a lengthy and exhausting legal process, she deployed a strategy that might have seemed petty at first glance. At the end, she didn’t apply to herself the strategies she advised her clients. She took charge of her future and didn’t hesitate to use pressure, even if it wasn’t always in a very ethical way.
It is true that being in a position of strength, with family support, and financial stability allows for a more serene negotiation of a split.

These events took a toll on the morale and career of the young woman. Then memories faded away. She eventually got married a few years later. She restarted a new career, this time marred by her own tumultuous divorce, which deeply impacted the promising new career she had built for herself.

Le Divorce de l’Avocate du Droit de la Famille

M’s Story of a Peaceful Separation

Jane’s story – A heart-braking tale of the life of an academic to be

Mid-Life Crisis, Bald Men in The Wake of Their Fifties

Romance From the Eyes of the Mid-Life Renaissance Man

The Emancipation of the Man With a Wig

The Tall Blond Guy with Blue Eyes

Mercy to the Guilty is Cruelty to the Innocent (Adam Smith)

Abusive Jurisdiction or Abuse of Jurisdiction ?

Le Démon de Midi ou de Minuit

L’Émancipation de l’Homme à la Perruque

La Romance Du Démon de Midi Vue Par l’Homme Approchant la Cinquantaine